It might be at the nice restaurant downtown. It might be on that first trip to an exotic destination. Or it could be in the comfort of home. Wherever you are, you want to make sure that first gift for a significant other is memorable and full of loving feeling.

A romantic gift can be the high point of a growing relationship, when it shows a level of affection and empathy that lies between truly compatible souls. Of course, on the other hand, nothing can be worse than a gift that shows just how alarming those few flaws in a newfound partner are. Let’s look at four such gifts that have wrecked even the most hopeful of relationships.

Imagine you just finished a enjoyable meal with the new love of your life. You are enjoying some wine when they lean across the table with a mischievous gleam in their eye. “I have a surprise for you.” You hear some faint barks in the background. The wine starts to taste a little bit sour. “Umm…” From out of the other room springs a new, lively puppy. “We can raise it together!” Even excluding the potential of allergies, don’t buy an animal on a whim without first having a sustained talk or you can bet on raising that pup as a single parent.

“Oh wow - plane tickets! Time to get in some sunbathing” That might be your first thought at seeing this romantic gift, coming from your new significant other. With a stern look in their eye, they grab your hands. “I would like you to meet…my parents! I bought tickets to leave for the weekend!” The filet mignon you just ate feels like a rock in your stomach. “Oh…um…” Even if the new partner you’ve found is “the one,” please don’t bring the parents to the table too early in the game. Especially if a visit would incorporate a long plane trip, wherein you have to suffer through security, time differences, and possible schedule conflicts. Unless carefully planned, such a romantic gift would only end in grief/regret/unhappiness.

“That was a really good movie.” “I know!” Your special person replies. It’s late outside and the cool night breeze creates a perfect romantic atmosphere for a romantic gift. “But you know, I’ve been considering something lately. I want you to take a look at this.” They pop open their trunk and remove a carton of canned beverages. “I found this case of slim fast on sale the other day, and I’d appreciate it if you would replace a meal a day with it.” Please make sure that the first romantic gift you give is positive in tone, and highlights a good quality of your new partner.

Self-improvement may come later, if at all. Too many tears have been spilled due to the well-intentioned gifters who have no sense of timing or overlook the underlying message behind their gift.

“I had a lot of fun today!” You’re just exiting the art gallery and feel renewed by the warm sunshine outside. “Shhh.” Your new significant other puts their finger to your mouth. “Wait until you see this.” They pull out a key, and the shiny BMW behind them lights up with a beep. “Oh, is that your new car?” You ask. “No baby…it’s a present for you.” Please don’t try to “buy” your new partner’s interest. Even if your wallet and bank account are stuffed with hard-earned cash, such a display will only overwhelm them. (Unless, of course, they are that special type of person called a gold-digger)

Small, thoughtful or even custom romantic gifts are often the most meaningful. All in all, when giving romantic gifts, remember this: Don’t give a gift that is meant more to push your agenda than to please your new love. Use your connection and your empathy to pick something that will truly please the other. After all, isn’t a desire to please what a relationship is all about?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 at 5:40 pm and is filed under News. You can follow any comments to this post through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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